Nine Spiral
by Satchi Claus
Summary: GakuHai and GakuMyv The song is a translated version of Gackt's "Nine Spiral". Hyde finds that Gackt has been cheating on him with Miyavi. Miyavi finds out just what Hyde does to Gackt as revenge. Its a little on the dark side of things.
1. Regret

_**NOTE: **I do not own Gackt, or Hyde, or anyone in this. I do not own the song I used for this. Its a translation to "Nine Spiral" which belongs to Gackt. Also, this story is a little on the dark side, so if you don't like things like that, don't read it. Its my first fanfic, so I'm not expecting it to be the greatest anyways._

Chapter 1: Regret

_ The thing that appeared in front of my eyes vanished__  
The voice that cut my dreams to pieces__  
In this world full of lies  
Tease me... Break me..._

Pain. _Excruciating_ pain. That's _all_ I could feel upon coming to consciousness. My head felt like a _thousand_ bombs were exploding _one by one_ inside. My jaw throbbed with a slowly diminishing pain. My _entire body_ ached all over. The _only_ bit of relief was the cool hardwood floor beneath me. I finally opened my eyes, only to be greeted by darkness. Slowly, my eyes adjusted and I could make out vague silhouettes around me. What looked to be a couch with..._my clothes_ on it. A small glass coffee table in front of it. A flashback hit me.

Walking into Hyde's house with him, laughing. _Joking._ Two lovers spending a _quiet_ night alone when the wife and son were , the wine at the couch. The fierce look in Hyde's eyes as he pulled me closer, arms going around me. _Then_......nothing.

I heard the soft click as the front door opened and closed again. I pushed myself up into a sitting position and licked my suddenly dry lips. A metallic taste filled my mouth. _Blood?_ Why would _blood_ be on my _bottom lip_? Soft footsteps drew closer and stopped behind me. I closed my eyes and inhaled through my nose softly. Lavender, with a hint of Vanilla. Hyde's body wash. I smiled. _Hyde_ would tell me what was going on. The sound of a sack hitting the floor, the contents spilling out. I opened my mouth to say something when he forced me forward, back onto the floor. Pain surged through me all over again. I groaned softly and Hyde responded with a satisfied 'hmph.' I felt another blow- most likely from a foot- land on my back.

"Hideto..." I gasped as a fresh wave of pain filled me.

"I'm sorry, Gakuto. Are you feeling some discomfort?" Hyde's voice came off as sharp and mocking.

I pushed up on the floor with my hands, trying to get up and get away. This _new_ Hyde was starting to _scare_ me. Hyde's hands slammed into my back, _once more_ forcing me to the floor. My face hit the floor, spurring my jaw to burst into a _raging_ ache.

"Hyde, _what_ is......_wrong_ with you"? I stammered fearfully.

"Megumi..._isn't_... on vacation. She left me. She..._left._ Took our _son._ Because of _you_, Gacchan. She was..._infatuated_ with you. When I was out of town, she went out, just so _happened_ to see _you_ at the _same_ place. But, she chickened out on talking to you because she saw you with...a _guy_. Now, she _never_ knew about us. _Still_ doesn't. But _that_ didn't matter, did it? She left me...because she was in love with you. Seeing you _actually with_ someone...she couldn't do it...and _left Japan. You_, who claimed to love me, being with none other than a...a...fucking _fruit_ like Miyavi while..._I_...was out of town."

Hyde walked over to the couch and sat down. He ran a shaky hand through his beautiful dark hair. Hell, his whole _body_ was shaking. Guilt washed through me, as I could _fully_ remember the night he was talking about. _And_ it was _indeed_ how it seemed. It was just...how I was. I looked down guiltily at the hardwood floor. I felt tears sting my eyes. What I did that night was _wrong_ and Hyde didn't even _know_ the half of it.

"Hyde, I...I'm _sorry._ I went out _drinking._ We just so _happened_ to meet up. The first night, we just talked. Each night, we met up and things _escalated_...until..." I stopped, biting my bottom lip.

Pain surged in my lip from biting it. I winced as the split reopened and blood trickled into my mouth. On _any_ other occasion, I'd fight back. But it was _Hyde_. I just... _couldn't_ hurt him any more than I already had. Hyde stood up and something flashed in his eyes. I wasn't sure if that something was anger, jealousy, or something _else_ entirely. I swallowed softly and he crouched down in front of me. His arms rested on his thighs, hands dangling in the space between. He was staring at me intently, so I looked up at him, eyes _filled_ with regret. His lips twitched briefly in _mild amusement._

"Things..._escalated_...until..._what?_" Hyde's voice was an octave higher than usual.

I _didn't_ answer. I just averted my gaze as my throat stopped up _any_ words trying to escape. The image of Miyavi as I claimed him as my lover for the night flashed in my mind. Hyde stood up and paced behind me. I _knew_ my face betrayed me. _It_ had told him what _I_ was too afraid to say.

"I...I can't _believe_ you, Gackt-sama. I don't even know what's fair to do to you. If I _left_ you, it _wouldn't_ matter. _You_ would go about your daily life: look _pretty_ for your DEARS, _screw_ another band-mate, don't care _who_ you hurt. You have your back-ups in case I leave." Hyde sounded near panic.

"That's _not_ true. You, I care for. I've..._never_ felt this way befo-"

"Kami! You loved _Kami! Not_ me, not _anyone_ else! Once Kami died, your _heart_ went with him!" Hyde interrupted, practically shouting it.

_That_ hurt. It was _true_ that I had loved Kami, but he was my past...and he was _gone._ Besides, what I felt with Hyde was _more_ than that. I was _astonished_ to hear that Hyde thought I _only ever_ loved Kami. I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing would come out. Hyde must have taken _that_ as a confession.

"Oh, this is _great._ You...you _lie_ to about love. You _fuck Miyavi_. And you don't even have the _balls_ to _say_ it. You make _me_ figure it out!" Hyde's voice had gone down to a sharp mutter.

I heard the sounds of the plastic bag rustling and staples being ripped from some fabric. Then, a cloth was being tied around my mouth, a section of it forced in my mouth. _More_ panic seeped into my system. Oh dear _god_, what was he about to do? I felt Hyde lean over me and _almost_ wanted to arch into the warmth of his body. His breath tickled my ear as he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Gacchan. I _really_ am. This is the _only_ way you'll learn. I can't _bear_ to hear anything _more_ from you and _possibly_ end up feeling guilty about this later." Hyde's voice was calm and sounding normal again.

Now, I'll admit, I've _always_ been the one to claim a lover. I had _never_ been claimed. By the time I realized what Hyde was planning, it was _too_ late to stop him. Hyde claimed me not once or twice, but three times throughout the night. Each time, I felt more of Hyde's anger dissipate. And each time, I'll admit: I cried. I'm unsure if it was the _pain_ that made me cry or simply the fact that this was happening _to me_.

At some point, Hyde left and I cried myself to sleep. I don't know _how long_ I slept but when I awoke, it was light out and Hyde was on the couch. He was watching me with something akin to pain flickering through his eyes. Was Hyde _guilty_ for his actions or was it that _knowing_ pain of a lover's betrayal? I stood up on unsteady legs and pain surged up _everywhere_. I grew light-headed, swaying briefly.

To my utter astonishment, Hyde got up and eased me onto the couch. He sat next to me, eyes downcast and expressionless. I wanted to say something..._anything_...to lift the unbearable weight from my shoulders and break the disconcerting silence. I silently _prayed_ for a way to ease Hyde's tension. To heal the wound _I_ inflicted on him.

"_Miyavi_ called. He wanted to know if you were still going to the _photoshoot_ today. I reassured him that you'd be there." Except for the malice said with Miyavi's name, Hyde sounded amused. "You'd better _hurry_, Gacchan. Don't want to keep him _waiting_."

I felt a coldness sweep over me. _Now_ Hyde was just _mocking_ me. I grabbed my clothes from the couch and stood up to dress. I put on my brown leather pants and the pale blue dress shirt. I slowly made my way over to a mirror on the wall. My reddish brown hair was _definitely_ too long and _way_ over due for a cut. I pulled most of it into a low ponytail, but left a strip of bangs in my face. _Then_ I examined the rest of me and cringed. My bottom lip was swollen and split, and a huge light bruise was _quite_ visible on my right cheek. I was almost _certain_ I had similar cuts and bruises on my body, yet couldn't remember _how_ I received them. Just _what all_ had happened last night?

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. All these _disfiguring_ marks on your _pretty_ body. Such a shame. I _am_ sorry, Gaku-sama, but it _was_ the only way." Hyde said softly.

He tried brushing the hair out of my face but I pulled away. Without another word, I stalked out to my car and headed for the Shoxx Magazine photoshoot. I smiled gently. Miyavi had done _a lot_ to get me in so I at least _owed_ it to him to be there. Smiling made my jaw hurt and _moving_ made pretty much _everything else_ hurt, too. I groaned softly and just kept driving...

**Note: **_So, that's the end of chapter one. Please tell me what you think, but don't be TOO harsh._


	2. New Restraints

**Note: **_Hello again. I'm glad those of you who read this inspired me to keep going. I usually give up on a story long before I should and you who liked it made me continue so you can see what happens to Gackt next. I STILL don't own anyone or anything in the story. Read on and enjoy._

Chapter 2: New Restraints

_A capricious girl's change__  
If you can embrace each other on this earth__  
If you notice a person's an imitation  
Pull my strings...Make me live_

"Gaku-sama!!!" Miyavi called out as he strode towards me.

I was _surprised _to find that his hair was a _normal_ color: black. He was wearing a black and white stocking cap- _inside_ nonetheless- which looked adorable on him. His shirt was a thin, white, long-sleeved thing with fake black fur around a hood on it. On the left side, in the chest area, was a panda face. Miyavi also wore baggy black Tripp pants and plain white sneakers.

I _should_ have expected Miyavi's glomp, but I didn't. So when he practically tackled me, I let out a small hiss of pain. Miyavi immediately backed up and took a _good_ look at me. He gasped softly as his fingers lightly traced over the bruise on my cheek and the cut on my lip. He looked at me with such a pained expression that just made me want to hug him tightly.

"Gaku-sama, _why_ did Hyde-Chan answer your phone? And what _happened_ to you?" Miyavi pouted adorably.

"Don't _worry, _Myv. I passed out after drinking over at Hyde's." I said calmly, hoping to avoid all explanations until I felt I could do so.

"_He_ did this to you, _didn't _he?" Miyavi asked softly, yet bitterly.

_Thankfully_, we were called to our separate changing rooms before I had to answer his other question. My make-up artist looked _appalled_ with my battered appearance. I assured her that it was fine and that no one would see the mess once she was finished with me. I leaned back in the chair, closed my eyes, and did my best to relax as she diligently worked her magic.

Once finished, she left and I changed into my outfit for the shoot. My shirt was a silky crimson dress shirt with flared sleeves. I left the top two buttons unbuttoned with a smirk. Oh, how this would drive them all _crazy._ The black pants were _just_ that: simple pants. They _had_ given me shoes but I really didn't feel like wearing them. I looked in the mirror as I prepared to leave and felt I was missing something. I put in my stunning blue contacts and looked again. Now _that_ looked sexy.

After double-checking that I was ready, I walked into the main room and watched Miyavi as a set of photos was being taken. Miyavi looked even _more_ adorable in his _current_ outfit than the previous one. He was wearing a long-sleeved black shirt that almost extended past his hands. However, it didn't _fully_ cover his shoulders and tied near the top in the back. He _also_ had on tan pants that flared at the bottom and a pair of black platform shoes. Of _course_ Miyavi would wear something as feminine as _that, _but at least it suited him.

Miyavi was lying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows and holding his face in his hands. His feet were up in the air, crossed at the ankles. When he glanced up at me, he gave a cute but cheesy grin as the camera flashed. I felt my _own_ half-smile creep onto my face at that look. A woman brought out a wooden chair, a basket, and five adorable kittens. Miyavi sat on the chair backwards, resting his hands on the back of the chair. The look he gave me then as he was being instructed _almost_ made my heart melt. It was a combination of _pure_ love and _unwavering_ concern. _Somewhere_ in that look, he was _promising _me that our conversation was _far_ from over. At least until he got some answers, at least.

The basket was placed near the chair and three of the kittens were placed in it, leaving two on the floor in front of the chair. Miyavi picked one up- black with a white strip down the right side of its nose- and placed it _on his head._ He carefully rested his chin on his arms and grinned childishly, getting us _all_ to laugh as the camera flashed. After that, it was _my _turn. At one point, they had me sitting in a plush white chair, one leg over the other and a glass of a crimson red wine in hand.

"I _do_ get to drink this when we're done, _right_?" I joked lightly, the laughter following it helping to ease my tension.

After several more similarly seductive scenes, we were dismissed to our changing rooms. Facing the mirror, I unbuttoned the shirt and tossed it onto a nearby chair. With my hair pulled out of the way, I _now_ noticed the _multitude_ of bite mark-like bruises along my neck and shoulders. I couldn't _remember_ Hyde doing this, but that didn't mean anything. I sighed softly in frustration and closed my eyes. _That's_ when I heard Miyavi's horrified gasp as he closed the door behind him.

I _didn't_ turn around and open my eyes. I _didn't_ acknowledge his presence. I felt a guilty panic settling in. What would Miyavi think of me when I told him the truth? I _knew_ I wouldn't be able to _lie_ to the innocent younger man. Would it hurt _him_ like it had _Hyde_? A fear _so_ alien to me sank into my mind. What if Miyavi treated me as Hyde had? Would he, _too_, try to take advantage of me as some twisted form of revenge?

Soft fingers traced lightly down my back, sending brief shivers of pain _and_ delight down my body. No, Miyavi _definitely_ wouldn't do that after all. I felt Miyavi's fingers splayed out on my back. With a gentle force, he ran them down it, bringing them together near the bottom. _This_ resulted in a sudden flare of pain that made me gasp and pull away from the _almost_ sensual touch. What the _Hell_ had caused _that_?

"Gackt your...your _back_ is _covered_ in scratches. _Almost_ like someone's nail dug in..." Miyavi whispered.

Oh. Of _course._

"Gackt, _tell me_ what's going on." Miyavi demanded urgently.

I turned around, finally opening my eyes and looking into Miyavi's. Tears formed in his brown eyes, on the verge of falling down his beautiful face. I pulled Miyavi into a hug and just held him there for a moment. It was a moment I only _wished_ could have lasted longer. _Miyavi, _however, wasn't having _any_ more of it until he knew the truth. He pulled away and gave me a stubborn glare.

"No. _No more_ of this, Gackt. _Please_...just _tell_ me. Its okay, _whatever_ it is. He pleaded.

"Miyavi, I...took things _too far_ with you. I got carried away while Hyde was gone. I should have _told_ you that he and I were-"

"I don't _care_ about _that_! Gackt, _what_ did Hyde _do_ to you?" Miyavi nearly shouted.

"I told him _the truth_ and he..." I bit the inside of my lip and averted my gaze, unsure of _what_ I wanted to say: raped? Took advantage of? "He...took advantage of me for it. He _knew_ I'd refuse to fight back."

"So it was _rape?_ Gackt, do me a favor and take _everything_ off." Miyavi responded in a dark tone.

I tensed at the way he said that. The images of Hyde as our argument escalated flashed in my mind and my eyes narrowed. I _wasn't_ letting _that_ happen again. Miyavi shrank back at the look he was receiving and I instantly regretted even _thinking_ so low of him. I collapsed into the chair that I'd tossed my shirt on and scrubbed a hand across my face. Miyavi walked over and gently tilted my face up.

"Fine. I'll meet you at your house later and you'll show me _then_. But you _have to_ promise you won't talk to Hyde. Won't go _see_ him."

My heart raced when I heard that. Miyavi was asking me- no, it was _more_ like _telling_ me- _not_ to talk things over with Hyde, who was currently _my lover_. I wasn't sure if I could go through with it. If I _could_ hurt him again.

"_Promise_ me." Miyavi snapped softly, half pleading and half demanding.

"As long as you're _not_ going to change your mind and be mad at me for everything later." I responded.

"I promise." Miyavi's voice returned to its usual tone and he planted a soft kiss on my lips before leaving the room.

I wasted no time in changing back into my other clothes and taking out the blue contacts. I _honestly_ couldn't _stand_ wearing them longer than necessary. I was about to leave the room when a loud buzzing started on the counter behind me. I turned to see my cell phone skittering slowly across the counter as a light blinked on the screen. Walking over to it, a faint dread filled me. Don't be him. _Please_ don't be _him_. I looked at the name on the screen and swore softly. Hyde. With a sigh, I answered the phone.

"Gacchan? _Look, _I'm..._well_...we need to talk. About what happened. I-"

"_Hyde,_ I...I promised Miyavi that I was _done_ with you. _Besides_, after _what_ you did to me, I can't bring myself to...to stay with you. I'm sorry, Hyde."

"Gackt, _wait_-"

I didn't hear the rest. I snapped the phone shut and stuffed it into my pocket. As I walked out to my car, the phone went off two more times. _Still_ I ignored it. _Hyde_ had chosen _his_ path. _Miyavi_ had helped me choose _mine_. I made a promise that I _intended_ to keep. That was, as long as Miyavi kept _his_ promise to me: not to turn around and do what Hyde had done. Once in my car, I started for the nearest store. It was time to make a meal for a man willing to be there for me...

**Note: **_Well, that's it for chapter two. I'm getting an idea on how to do chapter three but I'm not too sure yet, so it won't be posted up as quickly as this was. Well, tell me what you think of Gackt's decision if you will. Until next time, goodbye._


	3. Mistakes

_**Note: **__WARNING: DEFINITE M-RATED SCENE AT THE START OF THIS CHAPTER!!! I'm sorry I haven't been updating too often. My internet source has been disconnected for quite some time, plus I had a hard time starting this. Anyway, in this chapter, Gackt sounds a lot like the Uke he's portrayed to be in this, and he seems a bit like a frightened schoolgirl (In my opinion at least). So, I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like the REAL Gackt. Heheh, like I've said, this chapter gave me trouble. A big thank you to those who forced me to continue this when I felt like just putting it in permanent storage. This chapter (no matter how it turns out) goes out to you guys. I hope you all enjoy_.

Chapter 3: Mistakes

_That voice that can be heard distantly  
Noah's boat that's full of delusions  
Beat me...Stop me...  
Violate me_

It was after the luxurious meal I'd made. Miyavi _knew_ part of me was _just_ trying to buy time before having to show him the marks that Hyde had left behind. I carried the dishes to the sink and turned on the water, preparing to rinse said dishes. Miyavi came up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist, the _other_ reaching out so he could shut off the water before _also_ wrapping around my waist. He pulled me out of the dimly lit kitchen into the _also_ dimly lit living room. I turned around while held in his embrace and looked at him nervously.

"Gackt, I'm _not_ here to hurt you. I...I want to _see_ what he...what he _did_ to you. _Please_." Miyavi said softly, sounding near tears.

I looked away, biting my lip and feeling _foolish_. Foolish for being _so_ afraid...so _vulnerable_. Miyavi pulled away from me momentarily. When his hands reached me again, he was unbuttoning my shirt. Once finished with this task, Miyavi ran his hands up my stomach and chest- the _only_ parts on my upper half that were unmarked- before pulling my shirt off completely and letting it fall to the floor. A soft sigh escaped my lips and I closed my eyes as Miyavi's fingers danced delicately across the upper half of my body.

I knew he was tracing along each mark. After examining each at the top, he pulled away once more. Curiosity got the better of me, so I opened my eyes to see what was going on. I began to blush furiously when I saw him kneeling in front of me. In the amount of time it took me to regain control of my _now_ overexcited self, Miyavi had managed to strip me _completely_. He was carefully inspecting my legs for signs of Hyde's abuse. He gave a satisfied sigh and stood up.

"At least it will _all_ heal. There's nothing marring your legs, just up here." Miyavi said, his hands pressing lightly against my chest.

Miyavi slowly slid his hands up and around my neck, placing a soft kiss on my lips. It was a hungry, heated kiss that whispered something _more_ _intense_ was coming. I knew what he was asking of me. He pulled back, _much_ to my disappointment, as his shirt slid off one shoulder. I felt heat creeping into my cheeks yet again.

"Miyavi..." I started, then paused when his eyes half closed and he smiled.

"Gakuto...I _love_ it when you say my name. It sounds so..._elegant_...coming from you." Miyavi said before taking my hand and leading me towards my room.

Miyavi pushed me down onto my bed and straddled me, that seductive smile _still_ playing on his all-too-kissable lips. In the moments before Miyavi had smiled, I was about to decline the unspoken offer, afraid of what _any_ sex might do to me after last night. But once that _simple_ expression crossed his features, it seemed to put my mind at ease. Miyavi pulled his own shirt off and tossed it to the floor.

Slowly, Miyavi leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, placing his hands lightly on my shoulders. My hands found their way to his hips and rested there as he pulled himself back into an upright position. Then, my hands delicately skimmed up a little to Miyavi's sides and I pulled him back down, my lips claiming his in a fierce kiss.

Miyavi pulled away once more, frustrating my more than ready body, then turned my head and kissed the bite marks before lightly biting my shoulder, then trailing playful bites and kisses from my neck to my waist, making me gasp. His breath tickled across the tip of my erection and my body tensed in anticipation. _That_ earned Miyavi the satisfaction of an even louder gasp.

Miyavi's lips closed around it and his tongue danced across the tip. A shudder of pleasure ran through my body and I gripped the blankets beneath me. This teasing wouldn't last long. Miyavi would end up beneath me again in _no_ time; he _knew_ it and he_ wanted_ it that way. _Sure_ enough, not even 5 minutes later, I had Miyavi naked and on his hands and knees in front of me as I thrust into him.

Miyavi gasped, his breath coming out in quick pants. I moved my hands, which had previously been on his back, to his hips. Grasping Miyavi's hips, I thrust deeper and was rewarded with a soft moan from him. A smiled curved on my lips at that. _Hyde_ was the silent type when it came to sex, and it had _always _bothered me. _Hearing_ Miyavi's pleasure made me feel _wonderful_.

I leaned forward without breaking rhythm and placed a kiss below his shoulders as I began stroking Miyavi's erection. He arched into me, his back pressing against my stomach, and let out a ragged breath that turned into a moan. I knew I could get him to reach his climax soon. _I _could last _hours_ if I wanted, but I wasn't going to let it go on forever tonight...

...I'd lost track of time. A sheet of sweat covered both our bodies. Miyavi had held out longer than I thought he would; I _liked_ that, though. Miyavi's body began tensing up and he quivered lightly, like a taught string being plucked. My thrusts grew slightly more rapid and I stroked him harder. Miyavi's sharp gasp sent a tingle down my spine that made me gasp and grin. Miyavi and I came together within a few minutes, my tension easing as it happened. The two of us lay draped over each other for several minutes before heading for my shower...

*~*~*~*~* One Month Later *~*~*~*~*

As the days turned into weeks, and then a month, my contact with Hyde ceased to almost nonexistent. His attempts became _far_ less frequent as he realized I was _serious_ when I said I was done with him. On the _other_ end of things, Miyavi and I grew _closer_ than I had ever let myself get to _anyone_. I became _happier_, more _alive_, and those around me noticed it.

The night of what Miyavi and I called our "one month anniversary", Miyavi treated me to a wonderful day out, ending with a meal he prepared for me for dinner. I _wasn't_ fond of being told I couldn't make my own food- _or_ even _help_ with it- but I understood that Miyavi wanted to do something nice for me. When Miyavi went to leave, I grabbed his wrist lightly. He turned to me, curiosity evident in his eyes. I smiled and tugged him toward my room.

"Stay _here_ tonight, Miyavi. What better way to finish our night than to stay together?" I suggested softly.

Miyavi agreed happily and we made our way to the room we often shared. After a round of passionate sex, we fell asleep wrapped in each others arms. Unfortunately, my dreams couldn't _be_ so peaceful. Memories of that night with Hyde invaded my sleep as they had _many_ times before. It _always_ ended different; _this_ time was _the worst._

_...Hyde had finished his abuse. He was preparing to leave when Miyavi showed up. Tears sprang to my eyes when the gentle man knelt at my side. Hyde said something about Miyavi being next, causing Miyavi to rise to his feet. He towered over Hyde and the two argued. I didn't want Hyde to hurt Miyavi as he had hurt me, so I cried out for them to stop. However, my voice was silent; no sound came out. In fact, Miyavi's also created no sound. The only voice I could hear was Hyde's. His voice seemed so near, so real. I covered my ears in an attempt to make it stop, make it go away..._

I bolted upright in my bed. Hyde's voice _still_ seemed to echo around me. I looked around in disappointment at the absence of my lover. Miyavi's side of the bed was still warm. Had he _left?_ Somehow, I could _still_ hear Hyde's angry shouts. Horror filled me at what I heard next.

"Hyde, you have _no right_ to be in Gackt's home! Just _go_! There's _no_ need to wake him and upset him!" Miyavi's voice was cold, venomous yet soft so as not to wake me.

"_Unlike_ you, I _love_ Gackt. I...I _tried_ to explain things to him. _You_ poisoned him with _lies_ so he _wouldn't_ hear me out. So he'd leave me. _All you_ wanted out of him was a good _fuck_." Hyde shouted, _hoping_ to wake me from the sounds of it.

I stepped to the door and stood in the doorway, silently taking in the scenario. Hyde looked disheveled; his hair was a mess, his clothes were in poor condition, and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked as if he hadn't slept- _or_ showered _or_ changed clothes- in a week. The sight of him like that made my heart ache and I wanted to hug him. _Miyavi_ looked enraged. It was 3 a.m. and the man he now _loathed_ was shouting in his face. He trembled with fear and anger. I shifted how I was standing and Hyde glanced up at me. Miyavi _also_ turned and the fierceness in his eyes softened. Hyde looked hopeful and he took a step towards me.

"Gackt, _please_-"

"Don't. You. _Dare._" Miyavi snapped at Hyde.

I took several hesitant steps towards the living room, my heart hammering in my chest. The tension in the air was heavy, making me even _more_ nervous than I _already_ was. I was shaking and felt like I was going to collapse. _All_ of the peaceful events of the past month fled into the shadows as the pain and fear Hyde had caused me resurfaced. Hyde took a few more steps my way and Miyavi shoved him back again. I was both in shock and amazed at such a simple act.

I didn't hear the argument that followed; it was more of them going back and forth about loving me. My mind was trying to lock itself away from such disconcerting commotion. However, the next time I looked up, Hyde had thrown a punch and Miyavi was about to retaliate. I cried out for them to stop and ran between them. Miyavi either didn't _notice_ or didn't _care_ and his fist connected with my cheek. I fell back, landing in Hyde's arms. The steely gaze in Miyavi's eyes slowly shifted to shock.

"_Now_ see what you've done? Hyde said softly.

"Gackt, I...I'm _sorry_..." Miyavi whispered, tears filling his eyes.

I looked up at him fearfully. _All_ I could think was _'Miyavi, you lied. You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You lied.'_ Miyavi reached out to touch my cheek and I shut my eyes and shrank back into Hyde's hold. Miyavi gave a frustrated sigh and stepped closer. It made me feel like I was back in Hyde's house, hearing him behind me before he...

"Don't _touch_ me! You _lied!_" I shouted, shoving him to the floor and turning into Hyde's embrace.

"Gackt, I didn't _mean_ to hit you. You _know_ I didn't mean it." Miyavi called out weakly, sounding hurt.

"Miyavi, you and Hyde were _fighting_ in my _living room_. If _either _of you _really_ cared, you'd both have just done your own thing and it would _never_ have come to this. Just..._get out._" I replied miserably.

I could see that, had I not done something, things would have only gotten worse between the two, so I did the only thing I could. I didn't dare look at Miyavi in case it made me change my mind. I heard him sniffle as he left the home I had once welcomed him into. The warmth in my heart seemed to follow him. I realized I was _still_ in Hyde's arms and I struggled a little to get away. Panic surged through me as I noticed he was holding me with no intention to let go. My heart skipped a beat.

"Hyde..."

"_Please_, Gackt...hear me out this time. I _do_ love you. I...regret _severely_...what I did to you. It was...It was _wrong_._ Please_."Hyde begged

At that moment, I felt tears spill down my cheeks. All of the tears, the stress, the fear, the pain that I'd locked away came out. I wanted to be comforted in _any_ way possible and, because of the incident with Miyavi, Hyde was the _only_ one around to comfort me. He _knew_ it, too. My body ached with delight when his breath tickled across my ear.

"Let's go to the room. I'll let you have your way with me." He practically purred.

As I let him lead me to my room, I agreed with my hormones that _this_ was the kind of comfort I needed; I ignored the logical, fearful gut feeling I had that was screaming I was heading for disaster...

...I awoke to the feeling of a warm body leaving my arms. Upon opening my eyes, I was greeted with a brief glimpse of Hyde's bare ass _just_ before he put his jeans on. I smiled as he turned my way, buttoning his shirt. The look on his face made my smile fade and caused me to worry. He was..._glaring_ at me...with a _strong_ hatred blazing in his eyes. My gut clenched, seeming to say "I told you so..."

"H-Haido? What's-"

"Oh, hush you! Tetsu is waiting outside, so I need to leave. Damn hangover..." Hyde snapped, bringing a hand to his head with a groan.

"Hangov- Hyde, you were _drunk_ last night?" I asked weakly, my heart filling with dread.

"What of it?" He grumbled.

"You...well what the _hell_ was that _whole_ 'love' speech then? You even told me you regretted..." I trailed off, biting my lip.

"I didn't _mean_ it. Tetsu and I made a bet at the bar last night. I bet him 5000 yen that I could get you to fuck me. _Tetsu_ doubled my wager saying there was _no way in Hell_ you'd do it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have 10000 yen to collect." Hyde explained with a smug expression on his face.

As he headed for the door, I slowly stood up. A cold fury filled me and I clenched my fists. Hyde _used_ me for a bet..._after_ what he'd _already_ done to me. I _couldn't_ sit back and let him walk all over me. I walked into the living room, staying several feet behind him.

"_What?_" I snapped, letting the anger out......

_**Note:**__ FINALLY!!! Chapter 3 is done! This was to end a different way, but I felt the cliffhanger endiong to the chapter will make it easier for me to continue in the next how I wanted to. If you have anything you'd like to see happen in the following chapters, I'm willing to hear you out. Until next time..._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Note: **-arms self against the oncoming attacks- I know at least one person will give me a death glare for this chapter, so...... -uses Gackt as a human shield- HA! Okay, on to the chapter!!!!_

Chapter 4: Beaten

_You who ripped up my chest_

_ Robbed me of my voice_

_ Stopped up my eyes_

Hyde slowly turned my way. A look of mild irritation flashed in his eyes. He let out a small, dark chuckle and stepped towards me. I took a step back, a mistake on my part. Hyde smirked, eyes icy and cruel. _Not_ the eyes of the Hyde I once loved. I swallowed softly.

"_You heard me. _The _only_ reason I showed up last night, the _only_ reason _I lied_ and _made you_ get rid of Miyavi, was over a bet. You think I'm _still_ waiting for you to crawl _back_ into my arms?" Hyde stated incredulously.

I gave no response, just stood with a glare set on my face. _This_ seemed to irritate Hyde further. I knew I was in for trouble, but I needed to make a point to him. Any trouble that came my way would be worth it. I held my ground as Hyde advanced towards me. With him being shorter than me, it was _almost_ funny. I fought back the urge to give a smug grin and rude insult.

"Whether you _are_ waiting for me or _not_, I _don't_ give a damn anymore, Hyde. You _raped_ me, then _violated_ my trust when I needed someone _most._ I...I keep reliving that night _over_ and _over_ and you've put a permanent _fear_ in my heart. You _deserve_ whatever _Hell _ awaits you." The words were out of my mouth before I'd even thought them through.

Hyde's eyes widened in shock. _Never_ in the _many years_ we'd known each other had I said a _single_ harsh word against Hyde. So, _never_ had he expected me to _be _so bold. His eyes narrowed as he decided what to do next. I saw it coming in time and, as he swung at me, I grabbed his fist. Hyde _again_ looked shocked. He _obviously_ had never taken notice of my reflexes.

"Hyde, I _don't care _to fight you. In fact, _I'm refusing to._ So _leave_ and don't you _dare _think of _ever_ coming back." I said softly as I released his fist and turned away from him.

I _should_ have _known_ better. Hyde had _never_ been one to give up. I felt his fists hit the back of my head and I fell to the floor. I lay there as Hyde let his fury loose. I'd _take_ the beating, but _still_ I refused to fight back. I was on the verge of passing out when I heard someone come in, followed by Tetsu's shout. Hyde stopped in mid-kick and I heard him turn.

I slipped in and out of conciousness while the two discussed the situation at hand. From the little bits I caught, Tetsu was _furious_ with Hyde. He hadn't _meant _for me to get hurt. Hyde commented that I had it coming and Tetsu countered with the fact that it _didn't _make it right. He _also _said I _could_ get Hyde arrested for attacking me. After that, I slipped into unconsciousness...

...I came to when my body burst into pain. With a pained gasp, I opened my eyes. Miyavi was leaning over me, a wet rag in hand. The rag- which was _usually_ plain white- had a red tint to it. It wasn't hard to figure out that it was _my blood_ staining the rag. Miyavi's mouth was set in a straight line and his eyes were empty. When he saw my eyes open, he leaned back with a sigh.

"_Tetsu_ called me. _He_ told me to come see you. It...took a _lot_ of convincing to get me , _what happened_ to you? Tetsu wouldn't answer my calls once I got here, so _I know_ he knows what happened." Miyavi's voice betrayed the fear and anger still in him.

I bit the inside of my lip. I _couldn't_ look Miyavi in the eyes, so I simply glanced away. Miyavi _already_ knew it was _Hyde _again; _that_ much was evident by the lifeless expression with which he gazed at me. He _wanted_ to hear _me _say it. To _admit _my mistake. I was _afraid _to tell him, however, and felt like if I _did_, Hyde would come back. He hadn't _made _any such threats that would cause be to keep quiet, yet part of me feared it would happen anyway. I sighed and tears filled my eyes.

"He...He was _drunk_ last night. I _should_ have _known_ better, Miyavi. He _lied_...and he...never meant some of the things he said. I...Miyavi, I'm _so_ sorry." I said, fighting back the flood of tears.

Miyavi smiled a sad, empty smile and brushed hair out of my face. That's when I saw the tears glistening in his eyes. He blinked a few times then glanced down at the rag. Quickly rising to his feet, he turned to walk away as he muttered something about getting a new rag. Ignoring the pain, I sat up and grabbed his wrist. Miyavi stopped but didn't turn around.

"I _know_ you didn't mean to hurt me, Miyavi. I...I wish I hadn't hurt _you_." I said softly.

Miyavi sniffled and his body shook lightly. He pulled out of my reach and continued to the kitchen. A tear rolled down my cheek and I pulled my knees up to my chest. Pain spread through me like wildfire, but I didn't care. I _deserved_ it for what I'd done. Burying my face in my arms, I sighed heavily.

"_Please, _Miyavi, forgive me. _Please_..." I muttered miserably.

I felt his hand on my back- warm and soothing in just that touch- followed by him pulling me against his chest. My body protested the movement, letting pain flare up everywhere. I let out a soft groan and buried my face in Miyavi's chest, drinking in the scent of him. Miyavi pressed a kiss to the top of my head before resting his chin there.

"Of _course_ I forgive you, Gaku-chan." He said weakly. "You need _to rest_ now or your body can't heal properly."

I felt myself begin to drift off as warmth returned to Miyavi's voice and he began listing off _all_ the reasons for me to sleep. Finally, I was carried away to the land of dreams and, surprisingly, had a dreamless sleep...

**_ Note: _**_......Yeah, this was the shortest chapter, the crappiest chapter, and that very last sentence makes NO sense but I have no idea what else to put there. On the plus side, I am now halfway through this story!!! Yes, the cat is out of the bag! There will only be eight chapters! Blame the length of the song, if you must blame anyone. So, it is off to more typing for me!!!! -vanishes into next fic_


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